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Procrastination: A Complete Explanation (Final) (Draft)
Everything you need to know about putting things off. The finished version is coming soon. Probably Monday.
Progress report
This page is nearly done.
The deadline above updates automatically. Every day. It has been “tomorrow” for quite a while now, and honestly the system works: I have never once missed it.
Contents
- What is procrastination? Started
- The history of procrastination Got distracted
- The science Later
- The five types of procrastinator Weirdly, done
- How to stop Coming soon
- Conclusion Monday
- Sources Tomorrow
Chapter 1
What is procrastination?
Procrastination is the act of… hang on. Before I start, I should get a glass of water. Hydration is important for focus. One second.
Back. So. Procrastination is the act of delaying a task even though you know perfectly well that… was that my phone? No. It was the fridge. But since I was at the fridge anyway, I reorganised it by colour. It looks fantastic. The mustard is next to the pineapple now, which feels wrong, but chromatically it’s correct.
Where was I. Right, the definition. TODO: definition goes here — Tom
Good. That’s the hard part done. I think I’ve earned a short break.
Chapter 2
The history of procrastination
Procrastination was invented in ancient Rome by a senator called Procrastinus, who had originally planned to invent it in ancient Greece but didn’t get round to it.
The word comes from the Latin pro (“forward”) and crastinus (“belonging to tomorrow”). That part is real. I know because I looked it up, in detail, for forty minutes, instead of writing Chapter 3.
History is full of great procrastinators:
Leonardo da Vinci worked on the Mona Lisa for years and years. She isn’t smiling mysteriously. She’s waiting. She has been sitting there since 1503 and would like to know if she can go.
The city of Barcelona began building a church in 1882 and has been “just finishing up” ever since. Respect.
The dinosaurs saw the asteroid coming and agreed to deal with it on Monday. See Exhibit 015.
There were many more examples, and I had a list of them somewhere. I’ll add it later.
Chapter 3
The science
Scientists believe procrastination happens when the part of the brain responsible for planning loses an argument with the part responsible for… I have just realised that I don’t know the capital of every country in the world. That seems like something a person should know. Back in a bit.
Back. It’s Ouagadougou. (Burkina Faso. I did all of them. It took a while.)
Anyway, the brain. TODO: science
Note to self: also find out how the Romans made concrete that lasts 2,000 years. Not for this page. Just in general.
Chapter 4
The five types of procrastinator
This chapter is complete, because I wrote it while I was supposed to be writing Chapter 1.
The Cleaner
Their room is never tidier than on the night before an exam. Has been known to dust the top of a door.
The Researcher
Cannot possibly begin until they have watched nine videos about how to begin.
The Planner
Makes a colour-coded plan. Then a plan for the plan. Buys new highlighters. Is now out of time.
The Snacker
Checks the fridge every eleven minutes in case new food has been invented.
The Pressure Expert
“I work better under pressure.” Has never tried the alternative and so cannot be proven wrong.
Research log
Things I did instead of writing this page
- Reorganised the fridge by colour
- Learned every capital city in the world
- Sharpened all my pencils (I don’t use pencils)
- Watched a 40-minute video about Roman concrete
- Looked up how long pigeons live
- Tidied my desktop icons into a pleasing spiral
- Wrote a new, better to-do list
- Built an entire website about fake history
- Write the page about procrastination
Chapter 5
How to stop procrastinating
This is the chapter everybody came for, and it is the most important one, which is exactly why I haven’t written it yet. You can’t rush important things.
Chapter 6
Conclusion
In conclusion, procrastination is
Chapter 7
Sources
I’ll add these tomorrow.